REVIEW: Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography by Neil Patrick Harris

Genres: Memoir, Autobiography

Published: October 2014 by Crown Archetype and Harper Audio

Pages: 304

Format: Hardcover and Audiobook

Rating: 10/10

Description: Tired of memoirs that only tell you what really happened? Sick of deeply personal accounts written in the first person? Seeking an exciting, interactive read that puts the “u” back in “aUtobiography”? Then look no further than Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography! You will decide whether to try out for Doogie Howser, M.D. You will decide whether to spend years struggling with your sexuality. You will decide what kind of caviar you want to eat on board Elton John’s yacht. Choose correctly and you’ll find fame, fortune, and true love. Choose incorrectly and you’ll find misery, heartbreak, and a hideous death by piranhas. All this, plus magic tricks, cocktail recipes, embarrassing pictures from your time as a child actor, and even a closing song. Yes, if you buy one book this year, congratulations on being above the American average, but make that book Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography!

So far, NPH has definitely been my favorite audio book of the year. It was a grand slam. He crafted his memoir with the bravado and artistry and one can only expect from such a man. He provided the reader with outlandish adventures in which you, the reader, is Neil Patrick Harris and must decide your biggest life decisions. Being an audio book (and not being able to flip back and forth between pages like a traditional Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book), it was very well structured. It took us from NPH's days a little toddlin' magician, to his days on Doogie, to his Broadway debut, and beyond! It was a wonderful, amazing trip.         

He provided great and kind of creepily awesome magic tricks (yes. He performs magic through the pages, using you as a puppet. It was magnificent). 

I especially loved the bits where NPH would discuss little details about his projects as an actor or performer. Sometimes, he will perform a little diddy which is always a pleasant surprise. When he started doing the tongue twister bit from “Dr. Horrible”, I almost cried. Other bits he performed included excerpts from his legendary Tony performances. 

I'm not sure how, but NPH has discovered a way to share his experiences chilling with Elton John, being a super gorgeous and charming heart throb, and winning a Tony, without sounding like an utter tool. He didn't come off as condescending or cocky or anything. He is such a stand-up guy and I love him and I loved his memoir. The best memoir I've listened to so far. Who DOESN'T loved Neil Patrick Harris? Real talk.

Also, a week after I listened to this book, I had a dream that I was Neil Patrick Harris dressed up in full drag as Hedwig. So, beware! *spooky music starts*

REVIEW: Orange Is The New Black

Orange Is The New Black by Piper Kerman
Genres: Memoir, Adult, Non-Fiction, Crime
Published: April 6 2010 by Spiegel & Grau
Pages: 298
Format: Audiobook/Hardback
Rating: 8/10
Description: With a career, a boyfriend, and a loving family, Piper Kerman barely resembles the reckless young woman who delivered a suitcase of drug money ten years before. But that past has caught up with her. Convicted and sentenced to fifteen months at the infamous federal correctional facility in Danbury, Connecticut, the well-heeled Smith College alumna is now inmate #11187–424 — one of the millions of people who disappear “down the rabbit hole” of the American penal system. From her first strip search to her final release, Kerman learns to navigate this strange world with its strictly enforced codes of behavior and arbitrary rules. She meets women from all walks of life, who surprise her with small tokens of generosity, hard words of wisdom, and simple acts of acceptance. Heartbreaking, hilarious, and at times enraging, Kerman’s story offers a rare look into the lives of women in prison—why it is we lock so many away and what happens to them when they’re there.

Orange Is The New Black is definitely one of my favorite shows, so it was simply common sense for me to pick up the book that tells the story of the real origins behind the show. I ended up listening to the audio book, which unfortunately, wasn't narrated by Piper Kerman or Piper Chapman, however the narrator. Cassandra Campbell, did do an excellent job portraying Piper Kerman. 

My main problem going into the book was that I expected it to be exactly like the show. For the first half of this audiobook, I spent most of the time comparing and contrasting the show versus the book. This definitely did not enhance my experience by any stretch of the imagination. The names and characters of the book versus the show are completely different and so is the bulk of the story line. Larry isn't a terrible annoyance in the book, for one. However, after letting go of the show, the book did get better for me. 

Prison, for many readers, is probably a strange and dark subject that one doesn't really know too much about. I was enlightened with facts and procedures that the American system undergoes. It was very fascinating. It was so intriguing to take an inside look at the lives of prisoners and to hear their stories and their everyday routines. However, this "routine" is probably the greatest downfall of the book. Don't get me wrong, this book was a wonderful account of Kerman's experiences and her thoughts and ideas about life and the prison system was amazing. However, there was a large portion of this memoir that was just a same things, over and over. Kerman makes it clear that prison is pretty much just routine: shower, food, eat, visits, contraband, repeat. While I did not expect an account of prison to be non-stop action, there were some unnecessary portions that simply felt redundant. The characters were an aspect that was a high point in the novel. Many of the characters in this book were uproariously hilarious people and I love hearing about them. 

Kerman is an upfront and honest person. She knows that she was tremendously privileged to be a white, blonde, attractive woman, and thus the consequences of her actions were, to some degree, lessened. She knows that she is extremely blessed to come from a wealthy family so that her stay at prison could be somewhat accommodated in terms of money, and she has a very supportive following of friends and family. She is very vocal and honest about these aspects of her life. She admits that much of her life was extremely easy. She may not be the most sympathetic protagonist, but she is an honest one and that is why I liked her voice so much. I love how she became known as the book girl, who had copious amounts of books sent for her, and how she tried to recommend books to other prisoners. I loved how she did use her wealth for good; helping new prisoners and getting gifts for her closer friends. I loved how she genuinely did form friendships in this unlikely setting. 

Orange is the New Black is an eye-opening memoir about the incarnation system in the US, told from the personal perspective of an intelligent woman. It definitely gives the reader an idea of what life is behind bars in America. I would say that it is lackluster compared to the show, but the show is just a crazy ride that is (a little bit) far removed from reality. I do prefer the show, but I don't think that it is far to compare them to one another. It was a great audiobook experience, and I would definitely reccomend it fans of the show, or for anyone who is interested in any of the aforementioned topics.